2011年4月28日星期四

Journey to the Work Retreat Weekend | Obligatory White Space

The Hero had been roped into attending the Work Retreat of Experience, and was fuming at the though of having to interact with his fellow office associates. To him they were merely NPC's, workers who have no real input to Quest and Reward Pty Ltd aside from their inane one line conversations and pitiful quests about killing 10 snails and collecting their pelts, or some such nonsense.

It was to be at a small camp located on the outskirts of town, within the Forest of Flowers (of Doom), and full of team working exercises and relationship building activities. He would have tried to get out of attending but the management she-dragon made it compulsory. The Hero had traveled through the Forest of Flowers (of Doom) before for recreational purposes, where he hunted the dreaded Red Flower (of Death) and destroyed the patch of Lush Green Grass (Filled with Cute, Furry Animals).

Dressed in his casual clothes, that included a private battle pen that he bought from a less reputable dealer of work place weaponry and a hawaiian-patterned breast plate, the Hero turned up at the edge of the Forest of Flowers (of Doom), prepared for the worst.

He had been waiting around for the better part of an hour when a disheveled and out-of-breath elevator wench came running out of the forest, screaming hysterically. The Hero managed to calm the wench down long enough to get an explanation out of her: "They came out of no where. They just swarmed over us, killing everybody. I just barely survived!"

After calming the wench down with a post-coital relaxation session, the Hero suited up and proceeded into the forest.

The Forest of Flowers (of Doom) was a dark and gloomy place, the abundant sunlight, lush greenery and fragrant fauna was a thinly veiled illusion designed to throw off the unguarded adventurer. The Hero knew better however, and treaded carefully, cutting up any strange looking flowers with his battle pen with a flurry of words.

As the verdant scenery grew thicker, and the beautiful vista's appeared more frequently, the Hero was sure that he would stumble upon his work colleagues corpses. Cutting down a strange, but alluring, purple flower, he found a large clearing. Stepping inside he saw the mangled bodies of his former associates. He had seen this kind of attack before and there was only one thing that could have caused such slaughter: Hippies.

Before he could react, a hippie run out of the trees, yelling something about saving the forest. The Hero was caught off guard as the hippie racked its sharp and unkempt nails across his chest. Thankfully his hawaiian-pattern breastplate took the force of the blow, and the Hero drew his battle pen across the hippies face which exploded in a mess of green blood and manky dirt.

As the dead hippie fell to the forest floor more emerged from the trees and began to swamp the Hero. He unleashed his battle pen in a flourish of flurries, cutting down hippies left and right with expert skill. As their bodies fell, they seemed to be absorbed by the forest floor; covered by the grass and taken into the ground. There seemed to be no stop to the onslaught, as the Hero killed one after another. For each hippie he felled, two more came rushing towards him. He started to grow tired as the hippies surrounded him, slashing at him with their nails and yelling pro-green slogans at him.

Suddenly a mechanical roar came from the forest. The hippies stopped and looked in the direction of the sound and screeched. A Lumberjack had walked into the clearing and was revving his chainsaw menacingly at the hippies. He slowly approached the hippie group; one made a lunge towards him but was easily cut down by the chainsaws sharp rotating blades. With a few intimidating swipes of his weapon, the Lumberjack dispersed the hippies, they retreated back into the trees and disappeared.

The Lumberjack helped the Hero up to his feet, the Hero's hawaiian-pattern beastplate had taken a battering and he was scratched and bleeding from his arms and legs. Once on his legs however, the Hero stood up straight and held his battle pen tightly. While his work associates had perished, he didn't really care. He took part in an epic battle and made a new friend. He nodded to the Lumberjack who silently nodded in return. They both proceeded back through the Forest of Flowers (of Doom) to the entrance where the Hero saw the management she-dragon. She began to spew fire and brimstone at his explanation of events but calmed down when the Lumberjack said he needed a job. He would be working with the Hero in fact.

And all was well in Quest and Reward Pty Ltd. Throw it around: Print Email Facebook Digg StumbleUpon Reddit

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